Re: "I hate saving face. It's futile and demeaning. My mom would apologize to Alex later for it."
Ha-ha! Now I know you're American for sure! Being part of a group means what one member of the group does reflects on the rest of the group. It not mattering requires divorcing individuals from one another - in which case you would be individuals with no connection to your parents. Maybe I've been in Asia too long... it doesn't seem strange any more. Anyway, the term "saving face" is a rotten translation that makes it sound silly. If your mother came into your office and said things that embarrased you - that's exactly the same thing as making you "lose face" - but you wouldn't use that badly translated term "saving face" - you'd just say that it was "an embarrassing experience". It's all the same thing - the difference is just in degrees.
no subject
Ha-ha! Now I know you're American for sure! Being part of a group means what one member of the group does reflects on the rest of the group. It not mattering requires divorcing individuals from one another - in which case you would be individuals with no connection to your parents. Maybe I've been in Asia too long... it doesn't seem strange any more. Anyway, the term "saving face" is a rotten translation that makes it sound silly. If your mother came into your office and said things that embarrased you - that's exactly the same thing as making you "lose face" - but you wouldn't use that badly translated term "saving face" - you'd just say that it was "an embarrassing experience". It's all the same thing - the difference is just in degrees.
LYle (Hiroshi) Saxon
http://www5d.biglobe.ne.jp/~LLLtrs/